I’d Rather Laugh Than Cry Because My Mascara Doesn’t Run As Much

How do I make a difference? When I heard about this campaign, I pondered this question for a while. I thought that I would write an article about how I’ve been on T.V, in magazines, appeared at events, and have been in leadership programs to promote CP awareness. But really, when I truly thought about it, all this activity has been the result of one thing: I have CP but I am not letting that cramp my style.

My greatest achievement, I believe, has been to influence my family’s and my friends’ perspectives on people with disabilities. Maybe even the average person who sees me walking down the street. They see me as a person, who went to mainstream schools, did well academically, who goes to all the parties, and who is able to have a smile on her dial even when she may have some issues with the way she walks. I never have believed that having a disability makes my life any worse than any one else I know. In fact, probably for the most part, it is just the same, or better. I like to call my CP “my issue that is right in your face”, whereas others may hide behind their able-bodied façades.

However, this definitely hasn’t always been my outlook. Back when I was 14 or 15, I did everything in my power to hide away from my disability. I didn’t associate with other “disabled people”, I wasn’t going to let myself be categorised like that. I hated having CP, not that I love it now, but I didn’t accept it a few years ago.  Having friends with a disability was, I thought, pretty much social suicide, as well as admitting defeat and realising that yes, I am in a minority. It sounds awful but it’s the truth. And I wouldn’t say I’m ashamed of my past attitude because I was dealing with inner struggles, and it was a reflection on myself as a developing person, rather than on anyone else.

I can’t tell you what changed, whether it was a single moment, or a particular experience, that altered my point of view on not only myself, but of cerebral palsy in general. I think I was around the age of 16 when I decided that it was ok to be me. Having CP was bearable, and I came to realise that I had to accept and respect myself, before anyone else possibly could. There have definitely been some up and down times since then, and it took to December last year before I could really say that I truly accepted my disability. Nearly 20 years old, I feel the best I ever have about who Emily Sheppard is, and what she stands for.

If I have changed someone’s opinion on a somewhat taboo subject, which ‘disability’ of course is, then my job is complete. I’m not ashamed of the person I have grown up to be, nor anymore do I make apologises for having a disability. I earn respect from my peers because I push myself to be one of them. I like to think that knowledge is power, so if I can get out, live as great a life as possible and be open about my disability, then I have created a voice for those who don’t have one.

This my own motto, which I think sums up how I want to make a difference: Be yourself, because there is nothing else you can be.